Tag: Lionel Messi

Fabio Borini is apparently Leo Messi’s style idol

Leo Messi has added platinum blond hair to his unlucky beard, making him look like someone completely different. Namely, Fabio Borini.

The Sunderland striker, who has also gone for platinum hair and a human color beard this summer, is wondering if Messi was inspired by him and it’s easy to see why he might think that. Aside from the fact that Messi probably doesn’t even know who Fabio Borini is, of course.

Barcelona launch misguided call to support Leo Messi’s tax fraud

(FC Barcelona)
(FC Barcelona)

Barcelona have launched a bizarre campaign to rally fans into showing support for Lionel Messi because he’s being held accountable for being guilty of tax fraud.

Messi and his father were each given a suspended sentence of 21 months in jail (meaning they won’t have to serve it) and fined a total of €3.5 million for evading millions in taxes. But apparently Barcelona feel that Messi should be above the law.

Read more

Lionel Messi sentenced to 21 months in prison or two more cup finals with Gonzalo Higuain as a teammate

The Court of Catalonia has sentenced Lionel Messi to 21 months in prison or playing two more major cup finals with Gonzalo Higuain as a teammate. Messi and his father, who was sentenced to 21 months in prison or going three consecutive hours without telling anyone that he is Lionel Messi’s father, were found guilty of not paying taxes on the Barcelona star’s image rights, owing €4 million to the government.

In Spain, prison sentences of less than two years are usually suspended for first-time offenders like the Messis, but Lionel told the court he would “rather spend 21 years in prison” than endure even one more cup final with Higuain there to ruin everything. Messi recently retired from international football after losing a third cup final in as many years with Argentina, thanks in part to Higuain fluffing a golden scoring opportunity, also for the third final in a row. Messi went on to miss Argentina’s first penalty in the Copa America Centenario final’s decisive shootout against Chile, as he was surely preoccupied by thoughts of murdering Higuain with a waffle iron.

When asked for comment, Diego Maradona said, “I owed the Italian government €30 million in back taxes and I didn’t need my daddy to help me do it, either. So Messi has a long way to go before he can be considered as good as me on or off the pitch. He just doesn’t have the personality to be a leader in tax evasion.”

What Cristiano Ronaldo wanted to say about Lionel Messi’s international retirement

As he prepares for Portugal’s Euro 2016 semifinal, Cristiano Ronaldo has been successfully pestered into commenting on Lionel Messi’s recent international retirement. The following is what he actually said, along with the bits that he didn’t say, but totally wanted to.

“[Messi’s] taken a tough decision and people must understand it.”

“It would also be great if they encouraged him to retire from club football, as well. You know, because playing any sort of football might remind him of playing for Argentina and make him feel bad. And no one wants that.”

“He isn’t used to defeats or disappointments; not even finishing second.”

“Maybe if he finished second with Barcelona a little more often, doing so three times in a row with Argentina wouldn’t have been so devastating for him. Basically, everyone in Argentina should blame Barcelona for this. It’s all their fault.”

“Missing a penalty doesn’t make you a bad player.”

“But if you do it in the shootout of a major tournament final, you should be forced to hand over all your Ballon d’Or awards to the runner-up the years you won. And that happens to be me. I’ll even pay the postage because I feel so bad for him.”

“It’s not nice seeing Messi in tears and I hope he returns to the national side.”

“…just so my boy Higuain can stomp on his dreams a fourth time. Hahahahahahaha this is better than Christmas!”

Pep Guardiola mercifully shuts down Messi transfer talk at his Man City unveiling

Pep Guardiola was introduced to Man City fans for the first time on Sunday and it didn’t take long for one of them to shout at him about signing Lionel Messi.

Read more