Tag: Lionel Messi

Lionel Messi passes penalty to Luis Suarez for audacious goal

At a certain point, anything can get a bit boring. When you’re Lionel Messi and you’re up 3-1 against Celta Vigo in the 80th minute, you’ve reached one of those times where taking a penalty as one normally does just feels a bit bland. So instead of shooting from the spot, you lay off a pass to Luis Suarez to confound the goalkeeper, blow the minds of everyone watching and get your teammate his hat trick. That, my friends, is the mark of genius.

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Letters from Bojan: A word of caution

The earnest question of whether Lionel Messi could do it on a cold, wet night in Stoke has persisted as a cliched joke for a few years now. So when Barcelona surprisingly sold Bojan, a 24-year-old once hyped as the next Messi, to Stoke City, the only explanation was that Messi personally asked him to go there on an expedition to see if the conditions in this mythical place are as challenging as the fables suggest. This is Bojan’s eighth letter back to his friend.

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Espanyol hurl insults at Pique and Messi, lose by wide margin

The second leg of Barcelona and Espanyol’s Copa del Rey derby was a heated one despite the Blaugrana building on their 4-1 lead from the first leg to advance on an aggregate score of 6-1.

Barcelona’s Troll Supreme, Gerard Pique, riled up their local rivals after the first leg by questioning their ability to fill their own stadium (“They call themselves the ‘marvelous minority’, and they’re in such a minority that they can’t even fill their ground. Let’s see whether they manage to fill it for the return leg, because the other day it wasn’t full.”). So Espanyol fans responded by continuing their inexcusable taunts about his family. Read more

Why none of the 2015 Ballon d’Or finalists deserve the award

The Ballon d’or nominees have been announced and, as usual, everyone has opinions on them. Even the nominees themselves. Neymar thinks Cristiano Ronaldo should have been left out and Luis Suarez should have been included, Cristiano thinks Lionel Messi will win, and Messi probably thinks they should all skip the Ballon d’Or gala and go to Legoland instead.

None of these men deserve the award, though. So, without further ado, let’s get to pointing out the failings of these magnificent athletes.

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Everything you need to know about El Clasico

El Clasico is a match played several times per season between Team Messi (sometimes referred to as “FC Barcelona”) and Team Cristiano (sometimes referred to as “Real Madrid”). It is the biggest rivalry in world football thanks entirely to the existence of Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo, the only two footballers worth talking about.

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Luis Suarez bought Lionel Messi dwarf pajamas

Lionel Messi posted on Instagram to thank teammate Luis Suarez for sending him a gift, which apparently was a pair of pajamas that read “I hate mornings” and feature Grumpy from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. We can’t be sure why Suarez did this (even Messi himself writes that he doesn’t quite understand), other than the fact that it’s perfect and wonderful.

This almost makes the international break worthwhile. OK, no it doesn’t.