The night before Barcelona traveled to Manchester for the first leg of their Champions League round of 16 tie against Man City, Lionel Messi and Gerard Pique made a “late-night” trip to a casino with former teammate Cesc Fabregas. This prompted the same reaction it always does when footballers do something that normal humans do: MEDIA OUTRAGE!!!
After scoring a late equalizer against his former club earlier this season, Frank Lampard returned to Stamford Bridge for the first time since leaving Chelsea for Not New York. There were emotions. And signs. And another 1-1 draw.
Here’s the photographic evidence…
For reasons that cannot be explained nor comprehended by a properly functioning mind, one Manchester City fan declared on Twitter that if Middlesbrough could beat City in the fourth round of the FA Cup, he would egg his own mother. And he was not bluffing.
By February 5, Frank Lampard was supposed to be with New York City FC, preparing for the start of the club’s first season in MLS following what was believed to be his short-term loan stint with Man City. Instead, he’ll still be with Man City since he never actually signed a contract with NYCFC when he was unveiled last summer. But he will release his latest children’s book on that day, regrettably titled “Frankie’s New York Adventure.”
This will only add further insult to the already embittered fans in New York. So in the interest of helping Lampard smooth things over, we’ve come up with some alternate titles for the book.
Arsenal finally decided to adapt to their opponent instead of the people in their dressing room mirror and ended up beating Man City 2-0 at the Etihad. It marked the first time since 2010 that they have won at City (when the score was 3-0, with goals from Samir Nasri, Alex Song and…Nicklas Bendtner). Defensive midfielder Francis Coquelin stepped into the starting XI and though Arsenal uncharacteristically allowed City to have 65% of possession, goals from Santi Cazorla and Olivier Giroud made the difference. Given the rarity of this event, we really must ask “What if it continued?”
First, Barcelona had to go and disrupt the storyline of “Barca are over (for real this time!)” by beating Atletico 3-1 with goals from Neymar, Lionel Messi AND Luis Suarez. Then, after the match, Messi ruined the most pervasive story of the January transfer window by going on Barca TV and stating unequivocally that everything printed about him simultaneously trying to leave the club and run it as an iron-fisted dictator is total bullshit.
It has been revealed that Frank Lampard never actually signed a contract with New York City FC last summer, has been playing with Man City not as part of a short-term loan, but just a regular contract, and that everyone is a liar. But now the former Chelsea midfielder has reportedly signed “a deal” to finally join NYCFC on July 1. DT has exclusively obtained a copy of that deal and we share it with you here…
Squandering a two-goal lead at home to 19th-place Burnley proves that Manchester City have a problem. And that problem is heated seats.
Manchester City have decided to take every player signed to MLS affiliate club New York City FC on loan for the remainder of the season just in case they are all able to contribute the way Frank Lampard has.
“Chelsea will be tough to beat this season and we need all the help we can get,” said Man City manager Manuel Pellegrini. “NYCFC have provided us with one of our best players so far in this campaign, so we are going to take the rest of them because clearly they have an eye for talent. I know David Villa quite well already from his time in Spain, of course. But Jeb Brovsky? Kwame Watson-Siriboe? We can only imagine they are just as good as Lampard. And at the very least they can’t be worse than Dedryck Boyata.”
The 36-year-old former Chelsea midfielder signed with newly formed NYCFC over the summer and was immediately loaned out to parent club Man City as the MLS side will not begin play until March 2015. Since then, Lampard has surpassed all expectation, scoring six goals across all competitions. Only Sergio Aguero currently has more for the reigning Premier League champions.
Lampard was supposed to return to the New York club in January, but now Man City are eager to keep him longer, along with the rest of his MLS teammates. But this arrangement might not be limited to just the players.
“If I can’t get world-class performances out of these players, then I might take a more limited role and let [NYCFC manager] Jason Kreis take charge for the last few months of the season,” Pellegrini added. “After all, Lampard didn’t play a single match under him before coming to us and yet he still managed to turn him into one of the best players in the Premier League this season. It’s incredible.”
When asked how NYCFC will be able to compete in their inaugural MLS season without any players, Pellegrini replied: “What’s MLS?”
Man City made easy work of Sunderland at the Stadium of Light, winning 4-1 with a brace from Sergio Aguero. In fact, the performance was so impressive that Spider-Man invaded the pitch in the 87th minute to congratulate the City players on a job well done.
