After spending more than £70 million (so far) this summer, Manchester United’s most important signing and much discussed mystery striker revealed himself to be returning club legend Own Goal, who scored the winner against Spurs at Old Trafford to open the new season on a positive note.
Tag: Manchester United
A translation of Angel Di Maria’s open letter to Man United
Angel Di Maria finally completed his move to PSG after just one season with Manchester United. As he did so, he released an open letter to his former club and their fans (via journalist Guillem Balague). It was a lovely note, but there was a definite subtext to it that we have helpfully spelled out for anyone who might have missed it.
Sergio Romero might need our help
Manchester United have announced the signing of goalkeeper Sergio Romero and something seems very wrong. Is that the look of a man who is happy to join a great club like Man United or someone in mortal danger?
But that’s just one picture. Maybe we’re jumping to conclusions here. Let’s see another…
Louis van Gaal identifies Man United’s greatest ever transfer target: Mystery Striker
Manchester United have spotted and nurtured many great players over the years, but Louis van Gaal has identified the greatest yet: Mystery Striker. Combining everyone’s love for mysteries and transfer rumors, Mystery Striker is the world’s first perfect transfer target.
Louis van Gaal calls Chris Smalling “Mike” while sitting right next to him
Calling one of their own players the wrong name is embarrassing enough, but when they’re sitting right next to you when you do it and have to correct you in front of a room full of reporters, it becomes far, far worse. That’s what happened to Louis van Gaal, when he called Chris Smalling “Mike Smalling,” leaving Chris/Mike to correct him.
Louis van Gaal and Victor Valdes are arguing about reserve matches
Emboldened by Manchester United’s effective new “SIGN EVERYONE!” policy, Louis van Gaal kicked off the club’s U.S. tour by announcing that goalkeeper Victor Valdes is on his way out for daring to defy The Philosophy™.
Four-year-old Man United fan sobs over the sale of Robin van Persie
Robin van Persie was only with Manchester United for three seasons, but to four-year-old Louis Diamond, that’s almost an entire lifetime. So when Louis’ parents broke the news to him that Van Persie was sold to Fenerbahce, he was devastated.
DT Exclusive: Sergio Ramos’ Manchester United transfer demand
Sergio Ramos, Real Madrid’s all-time leader in red cards and dropped trophies, reportedly wants to leave the club and only wants to go to Manchester United. No, I didn’t mean to write Manchester City. He supposedly only wants United. The following is a transcript of his transfer demand.
Man United to offer XXXXL shirts by popular demand, Spurs still offer bigger
To match the size of their record deal with new kitmaker Adidas, Manchester United will offer XXXXL shirts next season. Their shirts for the 2014/15 season, the last made by Nike, were only available to more rotund fans up to size XXXL. But thanks to Adidas, supporters can now spend the summer keeping hydrated exclusively by drinking melted ice cream and still fit into a top originally intended to be worn by a world-class athlete.
Jose Mourinho illustrates the failings of rival clubs in end of season awards speech
Louis van Gaal’s drunken ramblings to conclude Man United’s awards gala was endearing and delightful. So Jose Mourinho decided to go a different route with his speech at Chelsea’s awards event by roasting the teams that fell short of his side’s title winning standard.