Tag: Manchester United

Several positives that will hopefully dry Falcao’s tears

Radamel Falcao is sad. After missing out on Colombia’s exhilarating World Cup run due to injury, his loan move to Manchester United has been little more than a different brand of awful with four goals in just 19 appearances and a demoralizing run out for the U-21s in which he only lasted 71 ineffective minutes.  And now Falcao’s friend and former agent, Silvano Espindola, is apparently telling the press that the striker is sitting in a puddle of his own tears.

From the Guardian:

“We talk a lot. I’m not going to say that he feels happy because he’s not,” he said. “We’ve spoken many times and cried together. It’s not an easy situation because every player wants to play and every goalscorer wants to score goals, that’s normal.”

Espindola is right about that. These things happen and it’s important that Falcao doesn’t lose sight of the positives. Of which there are, you know, some. So let’s cheer him up with a few.

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Louis van Gaal is already talking about retiring

Louis van Gaal got off to a rough start at Man United, but things are starting to come together. He’s got them back up to fourth in the Premier League and just two points behind second-place Man City. So less than a third of the way through his contract and still a month away from outlasting predecessor David Moyes in the job, Van Gaal is already talking about how wonderful it will be to retire to his Portuguese paradise.

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An evening in exile with Radamel Falcao

A mere 24 hours after serving as an unused substitute in Manchester United’s FA Cup loss to Arsenal (their first loss at home to Arsenal since 2006), Falcao started in a U-21 match against Spurs at Old Trafford. It wasn’t the manner in which a club usually has an on-loan player earn his £260,000 a week, but it does show the brand of anarchy currently gripping Man United.

The following is a rundown of what happened in this depressingly star-studded U-21 fixture.

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Cancer survivor Jonas Gutierrez gets captain’s armband, warm reception on Newcastle return

Eleven months after playing his last competitive match, testicular cancer surviver Jonas Gutierrez made his emotional return in the 65th minute of Newcastle’s match against Man United. He was given a standing ovation by the crowd at St. James’ Park and the captain’s armband by teammate and fellow Argentine Fabricio Coloccini, even though Coloccini didn’t exit the match.

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The inner monologue of Man United’s press officer as Louis van Gaal defended his long balls

Oh God, what’s happening. What are these papers he has? Are they photocopies of his arse? I really hope they aren’t photocopies of his arse. This is bad. This is bad. This is bad. They’re going to eat him alive for this. What do I do? Should I just run? I can run and run and run and start a new life in Vienna, maybe. Surely they have nice, quiet football clubs where the managers don’t know how to use Microsoft Excel there.

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Everything you need to know about Man United loan signing Andy Kellett

Manchester United completed the shock deadline-day signing of 21-year-old defender Andy Kellett on loan from Bolton, prompting the world to ask, “Who is Andy Kellett and why does Man United executive Ed Woodward insist on doing all of his drugs during the transfer window?” We may never know the answer to the second part of that question, but we do have some information to help clear up the first part.

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