Tag: Manchester United

Zlatan Ibrahimovic decrees Manchester United move, whether they want him or not

Following prolonged speculation, Zlatan Ibrahimovic has announced on his social media accounts that he’s joining Manchester United. As thoroughly unsurprising as this declaration was, it oddly was not accompanied by an official announcement from the club. As of this writing, it’s been 13 hours since Zlatan definitively stated that he’s joining Man United and the club hasn’t so much as retweeted his message.

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Jose Mourinho makes awkward first visit to Man United’s training complex

With his contract signed, image rights squared away, and new Instagram account pumping out content, Jose Mourinho was all set to check out Manchester United’s Carrington training complex on Monday.

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Jose Mourinho leaves his house

Jose Mourinho has left his house. He could be going to sign his Manchester United contract. Or to buy a gift for Louis van Gaal, his dear friend whose job he specifically campaigned for over the last six consecutive months. Is he thinking about which players he will sign? He’s probably contemplating which players he’ll sell. Or maybe he’s thinking about the players he will buy and then sell!

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The coordinated character assassination of Louis van Gaal

Manchester United won their first trophy since the 2013 retirement of Sir Alex Ferguson on Saturday, edging out Crystal Palace 2-1 in extra time with 10-men to lift the FA Cup. It had been 12 years since Man United last won the FA Cup. Wayne Rooney, a player who has seemingly won everything there is to win with the club, had never won this trophy until now.

This joyous occasion created a bit of a problem, though. Round 9,377 of “Jose Mourinho to Man United confirmed!” reports was already winding its way through the media like the latest updates from the boy who cried wolf as Louis van Gaal was proudly showed off his fourth domestic cup in as many countries. Though Mourinho replacing Van Gaal, who still has a year left on his contract, has seemed like a foregone conclusion for months, the image of Van Gaal celebrating like it was his birthday party while everyone treated it like his funeral is one that Man United and/or Mourinho’s representatives likely didn’t appreciate.

Appearances aside, the FA Cup did little to sweeten an otherwise grueling season in which Man United finished outside of Champions League qualification and with their lowest number of goals scored in the Premier League era (49). But some people care about appearances. And those people apparently felt that something had to be done.

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Man United paint child mascots blue for film promotion

Our young X-Men mascots are getting ready to accompany the players onto the pitch this evening…

A photo posted by Manchester United (@manchesterunited) on

Proving that there is absolutely no sponsorship opportunity Man United will turn down, the club with an official ready meal partner for Korea is now painting children blue to promote films.

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