Tag: MLS

Person in airport asks Bastian Schweinsteiger to take their picture with other Chicago Fire players

A great moment in unrecognized footballers

(Eric Gehrig/Twitter)

Soccer’s popularity has grown immensely in the United States and Canada in recent years, but the majority of people in these countries still have no idea who the game’s biggest stars are. Many players, tired of being constantly hassled in their home countries, find this both endearing and refreshing. And new Chicago Fire signing Bastian Schweinsteiger appears to be one of them.

A woman in Toronto asked him for a picture, but she meant for him to take one of her with his teammates. He smiled and obliged.

Previously in foreign stars going unrecognized in North America, there was the time when the LA Galaxy’s Robbie Keane was labeled an “unidentified fan” in a picture with then teammate David Beckham and comedian Russell Brand.

But this doesn’t just happen here. In a far more shameful example of footballers going unrecognized, there was the time ex-FIFA president Sepp Blatter couldn’t identify Alex Morgan at the 2012 Ballon d’Or gala, even though she was one of three finalists for the evening’s World Player of the Year award.

From Time:

“I have experienced sexism multiple times, and I’m sure I will a lot more,” she said. “I feel like I’m fighting for female athletes. At the FIFA World Player of the Year event [in 2012], FIFA executives and FIFA president Sepp Blatter didn’t know who I was. And I was being honored as top three in the world. That was pretty shocking.”

Sepp Blatter: Always the worst.

David Villa scores from distance because he didn’t feel like running any further

Sometimes it pays not to go the extra few steps


NYCFC were already beating the utterly useless Philadelphia Union 1–0 when David Villa took control of the ball around the middle of the pitch in the 90th minute. With two defenders around him and the game essentially over already, Villa decided to launch a shot into the night sky and when it came back down, it landed in the back of the net. Villa was as impressed with himself as anyone.

After the match, which NYCFC won 2–0, Villa explained why he took a shot from where he did.

“I was a little bit tired from running so I just tried it and it went in,” he said, according to NYCFC’s official website.

That’s it. He was feeling tired so he scored with the longest goal in MLS since at least 2012. Simple as that.

A quote like that won’t surprise anyone who considers MLS to be a retirement league, but the thing about these guys who are supposedly retiring in MLS is that while they might not have the legs they once did, they still have the talent which makes them capable of moments like this. And if this what comes from a tired David Villa, well, I’m very OK with that.


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The many dilemmas that face Didier Drogba as player-owner of Phoenix Rising

Drogba is taking up an unusual combination of roles with a club hoping to join MLS


On Wednesday it was announced that Didier Drogba will join three-year-old USL club Phoenix Rising as both a player and a part-owner. On the pitch, Drogba will join Mexico great Omar Bravo and he’ll be reunited with former Chelsea teammate Shaun Wright-Phillips. In the board room, Drogba will join an ownership group that includes the likes of Diplo, Pete Wentz from the band Fall Out Boy, and LA Dodgers pitcher Brandon McCarthy. It’s as if the club was formed by someone filling out a Mad Libs in the waiting room of a dentist’s office.

Drogba joins Phoenix with the intention of helping to lift them from the second division to MLS—which is a tricky proposition given that there are a number of clubs and cities vying for a spot in the league and promotion/relegation doesn’t exist in the U.S. In addition to this, Drogba will also have to navigate the rare combination of being both a player and a part-owner. With all this in mind, here are some of the unique challenges he will face:

  • If a teammate argues with him over who gets to take a penalty, can he fine the guy right then and there?
  • Does he have to pretend to like Fall Out Boy?
  • How much should he pay himself?
  • If it’s not enough, should he demand he sell himself?
  • What if he wants to stay, but they get a really good offer for him, should he sell himself then?
  • Can he sack manager Frank Yallop if he doesn’t play him enough?
  • If he decides that his pal Shaun Wright-Phillips isn’t working out and has to go, can he say it was Diplo’s decision?
  • Should he just change the name of the team to the Phoenix Drogbas?
  • Seriously, who invited Pete Wentz?
  • Will MLS be afraid that if they don’t admit Phoenix to the league, he will call them “a fucking disgrace” on live television?
  • If his teammates complain about the owners not springing for first-class plane tickets, does he lecture them on controlling costs or does he pretend his music is too loud to be able to hear them?
  • Does he let an increasingly desperate David Beckham join the ownership group?
  • If his teammates pass to him rather than shoot themselves, should he give them a bonus?
  • How awkward will it be if the other players try to negotiate new contracts with him in the dressing room?
  • Should he be the groundskeeper and team chef, too?
  • When he’s not playing, does he sit in the owner’s box or on the bench?
  • Since he’ll be using it too, should he spring for the extra soft toilet paper in the bathroom or secretly carry around just enough for himself?

As you can see, this situation is fraught with peril. But Didier Drogba has ended civil wars. If anyone can navigate these waters, it’s him.


https://upscri.be/16bb19/

Real Salt Lake player throws snowball at opponent during match

When life gives you snow, make snowballs


Real Salt Lake hosted the Vancouver Whitecaps on Saturday in a match that started out like any other. But this being Utah in April, a blizzard soon rolled in and before long the Whitecaps’ kits matched the color of the pitch.

With the home side already up 3–0, Luis Silva entered the match in the 81st minute and hand some trouble staying on his feet as he battled for the ball with Vancouver defender Tim Parker. Cold, frustrated, and covered in snow, Silva grabbed a handful of the white powder and hurled it at Parker as he pass the ball up field.

Silva wasn’t punished for this, but bravo to Parker for not falling to the ground and screaming in diver’s pain once he realized he’d been hit.

If you want to see the progression from green to whiteout, here are the full match highlights:


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Bastian Schweinsteiger actually gets to play, scores 17 minutes into MLS debut

Negative assessments of his value may have been premature

(MLS/Twitter)

Aside from an odd question about the Chicago Fire winning the World Cup, Bastian Schweinsteiger’s move to MLS brought a familiar and increasingly tiresome cries of how signing European stars over 30 is bad for the league (spoiler: it’s not). While one match can’t do much to disprove even the most useless of arguments, Schweinsteiger was quick to prove that he still has something to offer in his debut against Montreal.

The former Germany captain started the match mere days after arriving in Chicago, since Man United have been keeping him in a preservation tank against his will for much of the last year. And with Chicago supporters eager to finally begin their World Cup campaign in earnest, Schweinsteiger gave them reason to dream.

Just 17 minutes into the match, Schweini headed in a cross from close range to put the Fire up 1–0.

And he wasn’t done there. A bit later in the first half, he showed he can still reduce a defender to rubble even with just one knee.

Again, an impressive first half in his debut doesn’t necessary mean he will have a great season, but after Jose Mourinho publicly expressed his regret over his treatment of Schweinsteiger at Man United, who only managed a 0–0 draw with West Brom earlier on Saturday, the Red Devils might soon wish they kept him.


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Bastian Schweinsteiger given hero’s welcome in Chicago, then gets asked dumbest question imaginable

Prank or earnest query, it was embarrassing either way

(Chicago Fire/Twitter)

After being treated like Bruce Willis in the Sixth Sense by Manchester United, the reception Bastian Schweinsteiger received after landing in Chicago must have been a shock to his lonely, lonely system.

That was the good. As for the bad, well, that came during Schweinsteiger’s introductory press conference a bit later, when one person asked him if he will help the Chicago Fire win the World Cup.

This had to be a prank perpetrated by a local morning radio show or something. But if it wasn’t, it’s evidence of just how much of a forgotten entity the Chicago Fire and the sport itself have become over the Fire’s recent years of irrelevance.

You can really see the exact moment Schweinsteiger considers that being ignored by Man United might have been better than being subjected to questions like this.


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Atlanta United made their man of the match hammer a spike after inaugural loss

Manual labor is the reward?


There was some good and some bad about Atlanta United’s first ever MLS match on Sunday night. The good: they had more than 55,000 fans in attendance and held a 1–0 lead over the New York Red Bulls deep into the second half. The bad: they ended up losing 2–1 on an own goal, had their first ever red card, and some of their fans decided to adopt the “puto” chant in a misguided attempt to mimic the atmosphere of more established footballing cultures.

Then there was the strange. After the match, Argentine midfielder Yamil Asad, who scored the club’s first goal, had to hammer a spike as his “reward” for being named Man of the Match (even though Atlanta lost).

Atlanta are trying to build a mythos around the railroad spike the way the Portland Timbers have around lumberjacks cutting up logs with a chainsaw. They put together this video to explain the “golden spike” concept:

And before the match, local rapper Yung Joc used a much larger hammer on a much larger spike.

But having the man of the match use a tiny hammer on a tiny spike doesn’t quite have the same effect as a dude carving up a chunk of wood with a chainsaw. Also, it’s only a matter of time before a player smashes their finger with the hammer and purposefully avoids performing well so they never have to do it again. The concept needs work.


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The Seattle Sounders must not be called the Seattle Sounders, and other baffling rules from the MLS…

MLS: Where suffixes are important

(Seattle Sounders/Twitter)

If there’s one thing we know for sure about MLS it’s that they love to make up as many confusing rules as they possibly can. As a result, the league and its clubs have apparently decided that even something as simple as the names of these clubs need to have a bunch of inane and arbitrary rules applied to them, too. Enter the official MLS club name style guide.

Not only does this guide provide the “correct” things to call MLS clubs, it also provides the “incorrect” (printed menacingly in a red font) things to call them. And no, the incorrect column is not just a list of curse words and juvenile insults. It’s things that any reasonable person would think these teams should be called. Like saying “Seattle Sounders” instead of “Seattle Sounders FC.” According to the style guide, this is very guide.


You also can’t call New York City FC “New York City” (or “New York” or “NY”), you can’t call Sporting Kansas City “Sporting” (or “Kansas City” or “Kansas”), you can’t call the Vancouver Whitecaps just the “Whitecaps” (but you can call them “Vancouver”) or the San Jose Earthquakes just the “Earthquakes” (but you can call them the “Quakes”!), and you can’t call Columbus Crew SC the “Columbus Crew.” And God help you if you refer to any of the league’s Uniteds as just “United” (you can call the Philadelphia Union “Union,” though).

It’s unclear how important any of this actually is. I doubt anyone will get so much as a sternly worded letter if they write “DC United” instead of the proper “D.C. United” but it’s still a bit silly to see all this compiled into an official document.

Anyway, I really can’t wait until the big United v United game. Go Whitecaps!

UPDATE: Atlanta United taking things a step further…

That “filed” typo is going to confuse a lot of people.


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Video replay stops David Villa from hitting people in the face to his heart’s content

Technology once again proves its ability to ruin everything

(NYCFC)

MLS is experimenting with the Video Assistant Referee system during the preseason and this has already proven to be detrimental to NYCFC’s David Villa.

During a 3–1 loss to Houston, Villa slapped AJ DeLaGarza in the face in an incident away from the ball. Again, this was during a preseason friendly.

Villa was initially shown a yellow card. The referee then decided to halt the match and take another look at the incident on a pitchside monitor. He then trotted back out and showed Villa a red card.

It took nearly two minutes from the time the ref showed Villa the initial yellow to when he came back and switched it to a red, which isn’t an ideal interruption, but it’s also no more time consuming than a player receiving treatment for an injury—either real or imagined.

That said, this system is a potential scourge on the game. When a player can no longer get away with slapping an opponent in the face during a friendly, why even bother play the game?


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The Philadelphia Union are hiring a “Chief Tattoo Officer”

Streamlining the employee tattoo process: An under-appreciated key to success in MLS

When the official MLS store’s temporary tattoos just won’t cut it…

Are you a Philadelphia-area tattoo artist who enjoys doing snake designs and needs an executive title to impressive your parents? Well the Philadelphia Union have a position for you!

The MLS club is now seeking a “Chief Tattoo Officer” to handling all the tattooing needs of their players and staff. This is an actual listing on the league’s official jobs site.


The Union are requiring applicants have at least five years experience, possess a “diverse skillset as needed by clientele including American Traditional, Realism, Japanese and more,” and “must enjoy tattooing snake designs (after all, we have a snake in our crest).”

One wonders if Union players and staff really are demanding so many tattoos that an in-house artist is needed (and how many are getting club specific tattoos?) or if this is just a ploy to get some free press. After all, the job listing also states that the CTO would serve as a “team ambassador” and “respond to press/media requests to talk about the CTO experience with the Union.” If that’s underlying idea here, well played, Union. This is definitely going to get some attention.


https://upscri.be/16bb19/