If Claudio Ranieri and Leicester City have lived a fairytale this season, then Rafa Benitez has endured a sadistic nightmare written by Franz Kafka.
Tag: Newcastle
Newcastle players blames Aston Villa draw on beach balls
With their club’s relegation already sealed, Aston Villa supporters decided to hold a protest/celebration of themselves during last weekend’s match against Newcastle. It was arranged that beach balls would be thrown onto the pitch during the game, which ended in a 0-0 draw that damaged the visitors’ own chances of staying up.
Moussa Sissoko’s son takes Rafa Benitez’s seat, signs an autograph for him
Just before Newcastle’s desperately important Premier League match against Man City, the embattled club had yet another new face in the manager’s chair: Moussa Sissoko’s young son.
DTotD: Steven Naismith fondles Daryl Janmaat
Hoping distract Newcastle defender Daryl Janmaat just before a corner kick, Norwich’s Steven Naismith decided to pick at the Dutchman’s penis like it was a bass string.
Rafa Benitez finds place that is excited to have Rafa Benitez
Following brief stints as the divisive replacement to Jose Mourinho (twice!) and Carlo Ancelotti, Rafa Benitez has finally found a job where he can be considered a breath of fresh air rather than a colossal mistake. By replacing colossal mistake in his own right Steve McClaren at 19th-place Newcastle.
Newcastle can’t even spell their players’ names right
Newcastle’s already miserable season reached a new low on Sunday as they lost the Tyne-Wear Derby 3-0 to a Sunderland team led by their own former manager, Sam Allardyce. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, they also misspelled Chancel Mbemba’s name wrong on the back of his shirt.
DTotD: Newcastle’s Massadio Haidara kicks opponent in the ribs during a friendly
Newcastle claimed a 1-0 victory in their friendly against USL (the third division in the U.S.) club Sacramento Republic thanks to an own goal. They also provided a sideshow to the nearby California State Fair in the process.
DT Exclusive: Newcastle’s one phone call to inform Ryan Taylor and Jonas Gutierrez of their release
Continually plumbing new depths of classlessness under Mike Ashley, Newcastle informed long-time members of the team Ryan Taylor and Jonas Gutierrez, who returned from testicular cancer to score the goal that ensured that they would not be relegated, of their release with one call on a shared phone.
Though both players had been told that they would be released months in advance, they were informed of the final decision by economically conscious caretaker manager John Carver while they were both in Northern Ireland working towards their coaching badges. From the Guardian:
“John Carver rang me and told me the club weren’t going to offer me a new deal,” Taylor told Sky Sports News. “I then had a chat with him, he’s a good friend of mine. I’ve spent a lot of time with John in and out of the club. So I had a chat with him and then he asked me to pass the phone to Jonas, which was unbelievable. I can’t really blame John because he’s under instructions on what to do.”
The following is a transcript of that call…
Football Shirt Friday: Bayern, Everton, Newcastle, and a special tribute to Xavi
Our first Football Shirt Friday went well, so let’s do it again. Here’s this week’s offerings…
It’s time to ban everyone from football
A look at the day’s top stories reveal why it’s definitely time to ban every from football.