Amidst rumors of Theo Walcott and Jack Wilshere leaving the Emirates, Arsene Wenger has declared that Arsenal no longer have to sell their best players.
Tag: Premier League
Confrontational Aston Villa ball boy rolls ball between Rob Green’s legs
Ball boys are the worst. Jose Mourinho knows it, Cristiano Ronaldo knows it, and now QPR goalkeeper Rob Green does too.
During QPR’s 3-3 draw at Aston Villa, Green relied on a ball boy behind his goal to do his job and retrieve a ball. But on, his way to it, the ball boy slipped and fell on his backside, but tried to recover by kicking the ball to Green instead of tossing it. Unsurprisingly, Green couldn’t handle it and the ball rolled back towards the advertising hoardings again. This time, the ball boy tried to big-time Green by faking the handoff and then rolling it between the goalkeeper’s legs from handshake distance.
Granted, putting the ball past Rob Green is something many people have done over the years, but this proves yet again that ball boys are a cruel breed.
Previously — Conspiracy Theory: Ball boy cabal determined to sabotage Chelsea
Future News: Man City surprised to learn that there are no rules against winning consecutive Premier League titles
Manchester City have admitted their surprise upon finding out that there was not a rule passed in 2011 prohibiting clubs from winning consecutive Premier League titles.
Tim Sherwood is throwing his outerwear again
Everyone’s favorite win percentage obsessive, Aston Villa manager Tim Sherwood, played an updated version of one of his original hits during his side’s match against QPR when he threw his jacket in celebration of Christian Benteke’s first goal.
The visitors opened the scoring in just the seventh minute, but Benteke equalized in the 10th, prompting Sherwood to express his joy by being unable to wear his jacket for a second longer.
Petr Cech’s expert analysis of Charlie Adam’s 65-yard goal against Chelsea
Though it is fair to say that I, Petr Cech, am a goalkeeping expert, I must admit that I feel unqualified to offer an analysis of Charlie Adam’s goal against Chelsea. I say that because, unlike Tibia Cornwall, I have never conceded a 65-yard goal to Mr. Charles Adam, of all people.
It’s a bit like asking the President of the United States what it’s like to press the button that destroys the whole world in one giant nuclear explosion. He’s never done it, so he just doesn’t know. I’ve never let Charlie Adam score a goal of the season contender from inside his own half, so I have a difficult time comprehending what that level of embarrassment could be like. I can tell you what it’s like to make big saves to help Chelsea win the Champions League final, but this…I’m afraid I just can’t comprehend it.
Liverpool fans had to hold Mario Balotelli back from a confrontation with Chris Smalling
In the aftermath of Steven Gerrard’s stomp and go performance in Liverpool’s 2-1 loss to Man United, Mario “I do what I want” Balotelli entered the match and promptly earned a yellow card himself. A bit later, the Italian striker got into a tussle with Chris Smalling by the touchline and, in order to prevent him from suffering a similar fate to Gerrard, several Liverpool fans held Mario back from charging at his opponent.
DTotD: Steven Gerrard sent off 48 seconds after entering Liverpool-Man Utd match
Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard did not start Sunday’s highly anticipated match against Manchester United, but with his side down 1-0 at halftime, he was brought on for Adam Lallana. And 48 seconds later, he was sent off.
The solutions to Chelsea’s “penalty puzzle”
Earlier this week, Chelsea’s official website published an unusual article highlighting the low number of penalties awarded to them this season (spoiler: it’s two).
Filed in the “news” section, the article was simply titled, “Penalty Puzzle,” which seems to imply a link to manager Jose Mourinho’s belief that there is a sinister conspiracy actively working against his team. Because puzzles are purposefully arranged circumstances and not the result of mere coincidence, which is something that doesn’t exist. In fact, that’s probably not even a real word.
During his Friday press conference, Mourinho discussed the article. From the Telegraph:
“Our two closest challengers in the Premier League this season, Manchester City and Arsenal, have both been awarded seven penalties, the most in the division,” said the article. “Last term the two teams that finished above us, Man City and Liverpool, were awarded more penalties than any other team bar us.
“Of course it could be that when teams have played the league leaders they have been particularly careful inside their own area. We all have plenty of recollections suggesting this is not the case however.”
Mourinho went on to say that he thinks it was “a very objective article” and “not an opinion article that can lead to discussions. It’s just the numbers.”
Every puzzle has a solution, though. And this one has several.
Wayne Rooney boxes Phil Bardsley in his kitchen, celebrates goal by miming knockout
The Sun has published video of Wayne Rooney boxing Sunderland defender Phil Bardsley in his kitchen. The impromptu showdown reportedly came the day after Manchester United’s loss at Swansea last month.
Yelp Match Review: Arsenal v West Ham
Arsenal beat West Ham 3-0 on Saturday, giving them eight consecutive Premier League wins at home. Josh Getman provides his Yelp review for the match.