Tag: Samir Nasri

Samir Nasri teaches us why you should never upset someone who has your Twitter password

Adventures in social media based revenge and criminal accusations

(Samir Nasri/Instagram)

On December 27, a Los Angeles based organization called Drip Doctors tweeted out a seemingly innocuous photo of recent client, Samir Nasri.

https://twitter.com/DripDoctors/status/813850573497741312

But since 2016 refuses to go out quietly, Samir Nasri’s now deleted official Twitter account had a few things to say about this.


That’s an…interesting recommendation. And Nasri’s account wasn’t done there (read bottom to top).


At this point it’s clear that Nasri’s account had been hijacked and signs were beginning to point to his (ex?) girlfriend of four years Anara Atanes being the perpetrator. She has a history of Twitter outbursts involving Nasri and whoever was tweeting from Nasri’s account seemed particularly mindful of how this alleged incident impacted her.

https://whatahowler.com/samir-nasri-claims-that-pep-guardiola-imposes-a-sex-curfew-on-his-players-4ac750f38e7a

At one point, Nasri himself appeared to try and regain control of his account, hastily tweeting “Someone hacked my account and tried to spread rumors which is fake i am sorty for all the ppl involved in that i apologies [sic]” as the other tweets disappeared.

But the social media hijacker continued on, before concluding with the following (full transcript here):


The expression of a young Nasri in the avatar photo elevates the entire diatribe to another level.

For their part, the Drip Doctors account that unintentionally started this whole thing denied the accusations.

But upon closer inspection, something does seem curious about the company and the services they provide.

In a move that seems to confirm Atanes as the one behind the tweetstorm, the attacks on the Drip Doctors representative pictured with Nasri continued through an Instagram account that appears to belong to Atanes.

According to Drip Doctors’ social media accounts, other celebrity clients include DJ Steve Aoki and singer Chris Brown.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BBjKPggEHFk/

Obviously we can’t know if the accusations made against Nasri and Drip Doctors are true, but what we do know is that in 2016 no one is safe. Not even from their own Twitter account.



https://upscri.be/16bb19

Samir Nasri claims that Pep Guardiola imposes a sex curfew on his players

Leo Messi is cited as a beneficiary of this strange rule

(Man City)

In the wake of revelations about Pep Guardiola’s pizza and WiFi bans, I stated that he was turning Man City into North Korea. But I don’t think even Kim Jong-un imposes a sex curfew on his people.

Before we get into the details of this matter, first we must consider the source. Samir Nasri was loaned out to Sevilla at the start of the season because Guardiola didn’t like his attitude or level of fitness. He claims that Guardiola literally kicked him in the butt. So with that in mind, here’s what else Nasri has to say (via the BBC):

He told French TV programme L’Équipe du Soir that Guardiola “wants his players to be slim and fit”.

Nasri added: “He banned a lot of things in the kitchen but the biggest anecdote is that he says before a day off, those who want to have (sexual) relations it’s before midnight. And that’s with a day off the next day. It’s because he wants you to have a good night’s sleep.”

Nasri, who signed for City in 2011, added: “He said he told that to Messi, who since then does not get muscle injuries.”

OK, there’s a lot to unpack here. First of all, to be clear, this isn’t a sex ban, but a sex curfew…before days off. Secondly, if sex was causing Lionel Messi’s muscle injuries, I doubt the timing of it was as much of a problem as how he was doing it. Was he having sex on top of a bed of Ballon d’Or awards? Was he practicing a variation that involves running? I have no idea.

Third, this rule has surely created some dilemmas for Guardiola’s players over the years.

Pique: Want to go to the bedroom?

Shakira: But it’s 11:55 before your day off. Do we have time?

Pique: Plenty…

Pique thrusts at hyperspeed as his eyes are locked on a bedside clock that flips from 11:59 to 12:00.

Pique: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Shakira: YOUR HIPS…HAVE…LIED!!!

Pique collapses, out of breath and without release. The phone rings.

Pique: Hello?

Guardiola: It’s 12:01. There better not be any sex happening.

Pique: No, boss. There isn’t.

Guardiola: Good. I couldn’t tell from the cameras if you stopped or not. Next time leave the lights on.

Pique: Cameras?!? What cameras?

Guardiola: I AM PEP GUARDIOLA—SEEER OF ALL, KNOWER OF ALL. DO NOT QUESTION ME AGAIN.

Pique: Yes, boss.

Guardiola: Now I have to be sure Messi isn’t trying to have sex while wearing his rollerskate shoes again. Sweet dreams, Gerard.


Napoli’s Faouzi Ghoulam wants you to see his Dragon Ball Z underwear

(AP)
(AP)

Following Napoli’s 4-1 win against Wolfsburg, Algerian defender Faouzi Ghoulam stripped off his faux denim kit to proudly reveal his Dragon Ball Z underpants. The Japanese anime series is popular amongst footballers, but victoriously parading around in your Dragon Ball Z underpants after a Europa League match is next level fandom.

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