Tag: soccer

Russian politician thinks hooligan brawls should be a sport

If you’re going to the 2018 World Cup, wear a helmet

(WWE)

The violence perpetrated by Russian hooligans at Euro 2016 bolstered concerns that the issue could be an even larger one at the 2018 World Cup—concerns reinforced by promises that the event will be a “festival of violence.” But one Russian politician, MP for the Liberal Democrat Party Igor Lebedev, has a terrible idea on how to turn these lemons into lemonade.

From PA Sport:

On his party’s website, he said: “Russia could become a pioneer in a new kind of sport. Fans arrive and start picking fights — the call is accepted at the meeting at the stadium … on each side of 20 people, without arms.’’

Lebedev, who is also a member of the Russian Football Union’s executive committee, defended the clash between fans of Russia and England at last year’s European Championship as “normal,’’ adding: “I don’t see anything wrong with the fans fighting.’’

He’s not only an MP, he’s an executive committee member for the Russian Football Union! So if you thought there was a chance the governing body would try and minimize this type of behavior at their big showcase for the world, well, if anything they might do the opposite.

What Lebedev is proposing is like some sort of WWE Royal Rumble, but where all the participants are legitimately trying to maim each other. That said, it would probably be very successful.

Meanwhile, Zenit Saint Petersburg and CSKA Moscow fans fought and even mooned each other during a 0–0 draw on Saturday.

They didn’t adhere to Lebedev’s idea of fighting without weapons, though. Smoke bombs and flares were thrown as a partition mostly kept the two factions apart.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3otWQmiWCaY

Buy your tickets to the 2018 World Cup of Violence (…and maybe some football) now.


https://upscri.be/16bb19/

Napoli’s Dries Mertens celebrates goal like a dog peeing on corner flag

Mertens marked his territory against Roma


Dries Mertens scored twice to give Napoli a 2–1 win over Roma. The two goals were overshadowed by his decision to celebrate the first like a dog peeing on the corner flag.

After the match, Mertens tweeted a photo of himself with his dog, adding a hashtag indicating that his inspiration for the celebration was Nigeria’s Finidi George, who did the same thing after scoring at the 1994 World Cup.

Here’s George’s version:

Presumably both of these men are now banned from ever stepping foot inside Hamburger SV’s stadium.


https://upscri.be/16bb19/

USSF to require players and staff to stand for national anthem or else…something, maybe

An ambiguous ruling clearly aimed at Megan Rapinoe

(Stu Holden/Twitter)

Sunil Gulati’s USSF presidency of avoidance continues with the addition of a new policy that should be called the “Please Don’t Make This Difficult For Us, Megan Rapinoe” Rule.

Revealed at the U.S. Soccer Annual General Meeting and shared by attendee Stu Holden, the policy, which was passed by the USSF board of directors last month, requires everyone representing the national team to “stand respectfully” for the national anthems.

In a follow-up tweet, Holden added that Gulati said there were no consequences for disobeying this policy agreed upon at this time and the board will put that decision off until someone violates it and forces them to.

This is clearly a reaction to Megan Rapinoe’s decision to kneel during the U.S. national anthem while representing the national team last year in support of a protest against the oppression of people of color started by NFL player Colin Kaepernick. At the time, the USSF released a statement indicating that the federation did not support Rapinoe’s protest, but since they had no official policy on the books about anthem etiquette, this was all they could do. The statement read:

“Representing your country is a privilege and honor for any player or coach that is associated with U.S. Soccer’s National Teams. Therefore, our national anthem has particular significance for U.S. Soccer. In front of national and often global audiences, the playing of our national anthem is an opportunity for our Men’s and Women’s National Team players and coaches to reflect upon the liberties and freedom we all appreciate in this country. As part of the privilege to represent your country, we have an expectation that our players and coaches will stand and honor our flag while the national anthem is played.”

During an interview with FourFourTwo in November, Gulati gave a mealy-mouthed indication that a new policy was in the works.

I think our board feels quite strongly that there is a difference between playing for your club and your country on this issue. And we’ll see how that all plays out. We have a board meeting next month. There’s a lot of misunderstanding about what the First Amendment actually says, in terms of freedom of speech. Yes, Megan or [Colin] Kaepernick or anyone else can’t get prosecuted for criminal charges for freedom of speech. That is not the case in any membership organization or any employment area or anything else. And so there is that point to start with. There is a right to freedom speech, she also has the obligations to putting on a national team uniform. And we think those are pretty strong when you’re representing the U.S. national team and wearing the crest.

By saying that punishments would only be decided as necessary, Gulati and the USSF seem to hope to avoid looking too authoritarian and leaving the policy as a desperate plea along the lines of “Come on, guys—just behave and let our sponsors use you to sell their products in peace…please?”

But the result here is damage to the respect they’re trying to preserve. By requiring people to “respectfully stand” and removing free will from the equation, the act of standing is no longer a demonstration of honor, appreciation or reverence, it’s just a hollow obligation under threat of mysterious retribution for everyone. It takes away the personal expression of both those who protest and those who don’t. And though stifling everyone’s voice in an attempt to eliminate the possibility of facing something they don’t want to deal with is within the federation’s rights, it doesn’t show much respect for America’s anthem or values.


https://upscri.be/16bb19/

Palermo’s crazypants president steps down after 15 years of surprisingly successful chaos

There may not have been a method to his madness, but there were some good results

(PalermoCalcio.it)

The sacking of Claudio Ranieri has launched a familiar round of outraged headlines over modern football’s soulless disloyalty. Meanwhile, the one man who wouldn’t have hesitated to fire Ranieri as he lifted the Premier League trophy, Palermo president Maurizio “Get Out, No, Wait, Come Back” Zamparini has finally pulled off the ultimate sacking: himself.

Zamparini announced that a new president, representing a yet to be named American group of investors, will take charge of Palermo in the coming weeks, ending Zamparini’s 15-year campaign against logic.

The Reuters report on this story reads like a satire of modern football club owners. It includes lines like:

[Palermo] narrowly avoided another relegation in May after an extraordinary season in which the club employed seven different coaches, two of them twice.

And:

Because it is often not clear whether a manager at Palermo is considered interim or long term, and because some coaches have been appointed several times, there is no consensus over how many Zamparini has employed since he took over in 2002.

However, Italian media generally put the total at 38.

(Football Italia puts the numbers at 29 different managers who were hired, fired, and rehired a total of 40 times.)

It’s generally accepted that managers need time and football clubs need stability to succeed. By that line of thinking, turnover fueled by the manic whims of an oversensitive tyrant (“I will cut off their testacles and eat them in my salad,” he said of his own players in 2003) would be the quickest way to drive a club out of business. But under Zamparini, Palermo achieved some remarkable feats, especially when compared to other southern Italian clubs.

A year after he took charge, Palermo signed eventual World Cup winner Luca Toni and returned to Serie A for the first time in over 30 years. Since then, they have finished as high as fifth three times, qualified for what is now the Europa League five times, reached the Coppa Italia final in 2011, and only suffered one brief return to Serie B before bouncing right back to the top flight the following season. All the while, Palermo helped propel the careers of an impressive number of young talents—most notably Edinson Cavani, Javier Pastore, and Paulo Dybala.

Notable players who passed through Palermo during the Zamparini era

Now sitting 18th in the table and staring down another relegation, Zamparini, who has moaned about being unappreciated by the city of Palermo nearly since the day he arrived, has finally made good on his longstanding threat to step away from the button linked to the trap door under the manager’s seat. And while the next president will almost certainly provide more stability (the only way to provide less would be to put the Stadio Renzo Barbera on wheels), it’s far from certain that they’ll be able to match Zamparini’s achievements.

So farewell to Maurizio Zamparini, Italian football’s entertainingly mad scientist who challenged conventional wisdom. Whether he intended to or not.


https://upscri.be/16bb19/

Everton’s Tom Davies gets driven to training by his mother every day

And no, it’s not because he’s had his license revoked

Tom waiting for his ride home (Everton FC)

Still just 18 years old, midfielder Tom Davies is establishing himself as a regular in Everton’s squad. He scored the first goal of his young career in January, helping him earn the PFA Fan’s Premier League Player of the Month award. And yet, his mother still drives him to training each day.

Davies discussed this fact with Tubes from Sky Sports. As would be expected from a group of grown men who drive cars worth more than most people’s houses, his teammates apparently rib him about this fact, but Davies is unfazed by it.

“I don’t see nothing wrong with it,” he says with a smile.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxEkIcZyblE

Remember this when he’s starting for England in a couple years and parking his camouflage-print Bugatti on the steps of a nightclub.


PSV goalkeeper angry at goal-line technology for catching his own goal

Rage against the machine, Eredivisie style


PSV, winners of the last two consecutive Eredivisie titles, suffered the ice-cold wrath of goal-line technology on one of the most painful own goals in recent memory during their 2–1 loss to Feyenoord. PSV keeper Jeroen Zoet made a save right on the line, but when he picked up the ball, he inadvertently pulled it over the line, causing the Hawk-Eye system to signal a goal had been scored on the referee’s watch.

To fully illustrate the fine margins at work here, take a look at the Hawk-Eye illustration:


The loss leaves PSV 11 points adrift of first-place Feyenoord with 10 matches left to play and Zoet decided to direct his fury at an inanimate object.

From the Guardian:

“This is seriously fucked up,” Zoet told the Dutch broadcaster NOS. “The goal-line technology made the difference and things could have been different if it had not.

“He went only by his watch. If that had not happened, I think he would have said no goal. You should always keep believing in things, but the title is very far away. [It’s] a serious blow.”

He later told PSV TV: “I did everything I could to prevent the ball crossing the line. According to the system, it was one millimetre over the line.”

“Why can’t we go back to a time when things were wrong?!” Zoet is basically saying. And I get that it’s hard to come to terms with situations like this, but…come on. It’s not the technology’s fault that you pulled the ball over the line yourself.

Anyway, Zoet almost certainly went home and smashed his iPhone with a hammer after this.


https://upscri.be/16bb19/

David Luiz and Diego Costa give out hugs to Stamford Bridge staff

When you’ve got a 10-point lead in February, you just want to hug whoever you can


Normally when you see David Luiz or Diego Costa coming at you, you know that pain is sure to follow. But since Chelsea have the Premier League title all but wrapped up, they’re taking the time to try and change that perception amongst the staff at Stamford Bridge.

As they arrived for Chelsea’s match against Swansea on Saturday, both players surprised a different staffer with a hug.

Costa went on to score the third goal in Chelsea’s 3–1 win, so these pre-match hugs might become a ritual. Hopefully they become less and less terrifying for these staffers with time.


https://upscri.be/16bb19/

Zlatan Ibrahimovic generously gives EFL Cup to struggling super club

Zlatan once again proves that he is football’s greatest philanthropist

(Zlatan Ibrahimovic/Instagram)

It’s been a difficult period for Manchester United since Sir Alex Ferguson’s retirement as Premier League champion in 2013. They’re now on their third manager in four years and finished fifth in the league last season, missing out on Champions League qualification. Despite these uncertain times, Zlatan Ibrahimovic still demonstrated his unparalleled generosity by signing with the club on a free transfer last summer.

At 35 years old, Zlatan only has precious few years left as a footballer. Still at the top of his game, he could’ve gone anywhere he desired to enjoy his remaining years and carry on his pursuit of an elusive Champions League title after stockpiling trophies and scoring a career high 50 goals with PSG last season. And yet, he chose to forego his Champions League dream and look past his dim view of English football to try and resurrect Man United in their time of despair.

Zlatan’s efforts in this charitable pursuit have been tireless. Though Man United are still just sixth in the Premier League (one man can only do so much—even if that one man is Zlatan), Zlatan leads the team with 26 goals while already racking up a team high 38 appearances (again, he’s 35). Two of those goals came in the EFL Cup final, where Zlatan squashed a valiant two-goal comeback from Southampton to win 3–2, giving the League Cup to Man United for the first time in seven years despite his teammates’ inability to properly support him.

After the match, Zlatan reminded Paul Pogba and the rest of the world that he joined the beleaguered club on a free transfer. So that his gift to the club would not go unnoticed.

Even Jose Mourinho—someone who would take credit for yeast causing bread to rise—said that Zlatan was difference in the match. He told Sky Sports (via ESPNFC):

“I think, honestly, he won the game for us.

“He was outstanding in a match where our opponent was better than us for long periods of the game. I think they deserved to go to extra time.”

While there are many footballers who donate both their time and portions of their considerable wealth to many noble causes around the world, Zlatan has taken on the most difficult act of selflessness of all: overcoming the past embarrassments of David Moyes and Louis van Gaal, and the continually awkward presence of the likes of Wayne Rooney and Marouane Fellaini to restore one of the planet’s richest football clubs to their former glory. And his supreme altruism is already bearing fruit that he so honorably shares with those who would only toil in misery without him.

There’s no “I” in “team,” but there is a “Z” in “amazing.”


Carlo Ancelotti managed his 1,000th match and all he got was a giant pretzel (and an 8–0 win)

The ultimate payoff for a long and successful career


Bayern’s match against Hamburg on Saturday marked Carlo Ancelotti’s 1,000th as a manager and to celebrate the occasion, the club gave him a big-ass Bavarian pretzel shaped like the №1,000 before kickoff.

I would’ve taken that thing back to the dugout and eaten all of it before halftime, but the magic of Ancelotti’s eyebrow is that it was able to resist the allure of a carb-coma to lead Bayern to an 8–0 win. Yes, 8–0.

After the match, Ancelotti had to admit that the day couldn’t have gotten much better. From Reuters:

“A perfect day, a perfect game,” said Ancelotti. “The team played an outstanding game and I could not be happier.”

“I told my players before the game that I wanted a good match for my anniversary. I never thought it would be that good. I hope we show the same attitude in our next game.”

If Arsenal have any designs on coming back from their 5–1 first-leg deficit to Bayern in the Champions League, they now know that gifts of large pretzels won’t help their cause.


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