Well. Well. Well. Not such a genius when you’re going against Messi, are you Pep? Zlahahaha!
Tag: Zlatan Ibrahimovic
Malmo hotel has Zlatan suite instead of presidential suite
Before Zlatan Ibrahimovic became overlord of the universe, he was king of Malmo, Sweden. He was born there and he began his career there. So, it’s only right that instead of a presidential suite, the new Clarion Hotel in town has a Zlatan Ibrahimovic suite on its 23rd floor.
Zlatan gracefully accepts defeat to Neymar and Barcelona
Zlatan Ibrahimovic returned from suspension to stand on the pitch and watch Barcelona dispatch PSG from the Champions League in tidy fashion. It was yet another indignity at the Camp Nou for the former Barca player, who also lost there in the group stage this season and was eliminated from the quarterfinals there on away goals two years ago.
Luis Suarez provokes the wrath of Zlatan
During the first leg of PSG and Barcelona’s Champions League quarterfinal, Luis Suarez nutmegged David Luiz and went on to score twice in a span of 13 minutes. Twice he did this! Twice!
Though Barcelona went on to concede a late own goal in the 3-1 away win, Luiz’s greatest embarrassment since last summer’s World Cup, naturally was the focus of the night. After all, Suarez even appeared to literally spank his bottom at one point.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic is just a bellboy who hit his head
Back in 2002, when Zlatan Ibrahimovic only just began Daring to Zlatan at Ajax, he filmed a sketch that revealed his entire career to be the dream of a concussed bellboy.
According to the clip, the elbow to the head that Zlatan suffered from a Hungarian goalkeeper while scoring for Sweden that year was actually bellhop Zlatan falling down the stairs while trying to carry too many bags
A guide to using the new Zlatan search engine
Tired of typing Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s name into every one of your Google searches? Of course you’re not. But Swedish marketing firm Sweetpop went ahead and created a search engine that will make your life that much easier anyway.
Moldova keeper blasts clearance off Zlatan’s head for a goal
Such is the power of Zlatan Ibrahimovic that he can suck the ball towards his own head and score without even trying. He demonstrated this skill in Sweden’s match against Moldova, when the opposing keeper attempted a simple clearance but blasted the ball directly into Zlatan’s head instead, causing it it to ricochet back into his own net.
This gave Sweden a 1-0 lead in the 46th minute and proves that Zlatan is powerful enough to make you concede goals to him without even moving.
Zlatan later fired a laser beam of a penalty into the top corner to give Sweden a 2-0 win.
Referee tries to withhold match ball from Zlatan, ultimately fails
Zlatan Ibrahimovic scored a hat trick in PSG’s 3-1 win against Lorient last Friday and after the match, he asked the referee for the ball, as is customary. The ref bravely refused to hand it over, though, forcing Zlatan to ask him for it again in the tunnel.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s expert analysis of the Champions League quarterfinal draw
Gianni Infantino has stopped talking long enough to do the Champions League quarterfinal draw and I must say I am disappointed. First, because UEFA only reduced my ban for that stupid red card against Chelsea to one game instead of wiping it completely and begging for my forgiveness. Second, because they said that my idea to open the draw by using a French referee as a human Zlacrifice to acknowledge that PSG are too good for France was “inappropriate.” And third because I must wait even longer to get my revenge on Pep Guardiola, who gets super lucky again.
Belgian newsman calls Zlatan Ibrahimovic “Ibrahim Zlatanovic”
As angry as Zlatan Ibrahimovic was at the referees of France last weekend, nothing can compare to the hellfire he must have directed towards RTL’s Michel De Maegd for daring to jumble his name into “Ibrahim Zlatanovic” on television.